How Dogs Saved My Life

And continue to do so

I always remember when I was in ICU on the 31st December 2020 hearing the fireworks in the distance. I thought I was about to die.

It was the mother of all final benders, featuring whiskey and valium, that had landed me there. In reality it was the culmination of 25 years of managing addiction, depression and anxiety.

It was the close wake up call I needed. I’ve been sober exactly 4 years today. It’s a work in progress but one that would be impossible without street dogs…

An Unconventional Year End

I nearly didn’t write this update. Or to be more precise I was going to share it somewhere more personal like an Instagram post.

Happy Doggo is an official charity now and as CEO I have a team and lots of responsibilities to think of. Some of the things going through my head…

• Shouldn’t I just put out numbers about the amazing year we have had helping dogs and say next year is going to be even bigger and better?

• I can’t show vulnerability and talk about my addiction struggles and mental health and nearly dying here can I?

• Everything is bigger now so I should be more polished and show clear leadership and clarity of purpose.

All of that is true but I also read my DMs. I see the comments here. I know just how many people struggle in life. It would be a lot easier for me to say very little and just plough on with my own life but I don’t take the support and kindness I’ve received lightly.

I remember during my own darkest days scouring Youtube, reading articles or trying to find any glimpse of hope that could set me on the right path. I find it so humbling to be in this position that I feel it is my duty to talk about things as openly as I can.

In the end I just thought “If even one person reads this and it helps them” then it is worth sharing.

Everyones Life Is A Work In Progress

You’d think after 4 full years of sobriety and with all the positive support, nice weather and my dream life I have that I’d be feeling good. I’ve tonnes of followers on social media, written a book, people say endlessly kind things to me.

While I’m mostly in a great place I’ve also had a very rough 2 weeks. Extreme anxiety, depression and physical burn out. Some really horrific panic attacks. I know what caused it (stopped exercising, ridiculous screen time, took too much on etc) but it’s always scary how fast it can all slip.

Life isn’t some perfect timeline where you give up alcohol and everything is fixed. Where you get married and live happily ever after. Most people don’t grow up and get their dream job. Just when our health seems fine it suddenly isn’t. Divorce. Business troubles. Death. Sick kids. Life throws so much at us and most of us have no idea how many and how much others are suffering.

If I’ve learnt one thing since starting to help the dogs it is that our own human lives are so similar. Abuse. Neglect. Poor health. Accidents. Hopelessness. The list goes on.

I see the dogs battle back all the time but I also know that us humans are just as resilient. Most of us just need reminding of it. Life isn’t easy but just like Pedro and myself there are many ups and downs but you can come through them. That much I do know.

Surrounded By Love

I’m not sure I could have stayed sober or anchored myself in life without the dogs. They saved my life. I made a good start in my first year sober but it is only when the street dogs came into my life that I felt I had actually cracked it fully. It will be 3 years next month since I started feeing the first dog.

We’ve achieved so much in 2024 to help the street dogs including…

• 45,000 Dog sterilisations funded (stopping over 500,000 puppies being born)

• 350,000 freshly cooked meals served

• 45 Dogs re-homed

• 100 Dogs lives saved with treatments and operations

Those numbers are all amazing but for me it’s the individual dogs that keep me going. Like lovely Big Mac. He doesn’t have long to live which is why we gave him a golden ticket. His end of life care has transformed him. He is full of joy and happiness and he feels loved and safe.

Just like the big numbers above so many people (carers, donors, vets etc) are responsible for helping Big Mac but the individual ones touch me personally.

The reason I am able to do what I do is because of the Big Macs of this world. His life has improved since I know him but my own is also infinitely better for knowing him. I look into his eyes and see hope, joy and happiness and it reflects back into my own heart. I have to show up for him and his friends because they give me so much back.

The dogs are the ones who save me on a daily basis.

NYE Plan

Most people are stocking up on Champagne and finding last minute parties to attend. My life is a little different but that is very much by choice…

• I’m going to buy 50 bones and take them to the dogs on the streets at about 4pm as a little treat to both them and myself

• I’ll check in the dogs at the land at 6pm to make sure all are settled on the last night of the year

• Hank hates the fireworks and I have anxiety so we are going to put on a few lovely podcasts and just calm our minds with a quiet night in.

I can still remember that ICU hospital bed as if it were yesterday. Staring at the monitors in agony. Begging the nurse to inject more of whatever it was she had to calm my tremors down. I remember counting seconds to try and stay alive. Most of all I remember the fireworks. Big scary bangs and a world so far away from where I was alone and scared in the bed.

This year I’ll lay on under the covers and share the moment with Hank. I already know I’ll have a big smile on my face. It wasn’t easy, we faced many challenges but we made it. Of course there are big plans for next year but the only real one I have is to make it through, help as many dogs as possible and to be looking forward to the fireworks in bed again next year.

If you are reading this and you struggle I wrote this for you. It took me 25 years to get sober. I’d say 500 failed attempts. I was 41 when I finally saw a that chink of light. I still have anxiety and depression. Anything is possible for you. Comebacks are real. 2nd chances do happen. You absolutely can overcome anything even if all hope seems lost. Just don’t give up. Keep trying. Brighter days are coming.

From the bottom of my heart and from all the dogs, thank you for all the support in 2024.

Big Love

Niall

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